Existential Dread — Malört Edition

By | January 2, 2025
So obviously tonight’s a Jeppson’s Malort kind of night (my team, the Georgia Bulldogs, having pooched it in the Sugar Bowl), and when I went to find the four minibottles remaining in my pack of six, I COULDN’T FIND THEM.
I was left with several alternatives, all worrisome or outright frightening:
  1. some thief had broken in and stolen only them (why???)
  2. they had evolved intelligence and were plotting against me from behind the wainscotting
  3. I had actually drunk them in a midnight sleepwalking binge of some kind and somehow not remembered in the morning (the aftertaste of gasoline and bitter grapefruit not being a sufficient clue?)
In any event, the knowledge that SOMEWHERE IN MY HOUSE four minibottles of Malört were lurking and I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE really bothered me.
But I finally found them lurking behind my bottle of Luxardo.

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