Does anyone besides me remember the old Alpo commercials starring Lorne Greene? Greene tended to say things like “Beef: a dog’s natural food.”

Every time I saw one of those commercials, I couldn’t help visualizing a rampaging pack of Dachshunds trying to bring down a bored, cud-chewing longhorn steer and… failing utterly.

The lovely folks at the Vermont Lake Monsters minor league baseball team (short-season A, New York-Penn League) offered a special deal this year — for a low, low price, their team mascot, Champ, would deliver flowers, chocolates, a special customized card, and vouchers for two game tickets to the special person of your choice. Needless to say, I didn’t pass such an opportunity up.

Carole was amused.