Tag: depression

Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

I apologize to everyone for being a tiresomely annoying, self-centered, whiny, attention-whoring, angry, malicious jerk. I wish I could make amends to everyone I’ve harmed. Since I can’t, I am planning on more-or-less permanently deactivating all my social media accounts. If, in the short…

Clinical Depression

I don’t think I’ve ever come right out and thanked my friends and co-workers and family members for being understanding and tolerant where my clinical depression is concerned. I’ve been mostly focused on saying “Look, I know what a huge drag I am, I’m…

I’m the worst person in the world

I am mentally ill. My mental illness takes the form of severe depression mixed with PTSD. My depression is partly due to heredity and partly due to environment. It’s the nature of the thing that it’s sometimes hard to draw a fine line between…

Dammit, Ennui

Today is a bright sunny, chilly day with the remnants of this week’s snowstorm all around outside serving as a reminder that although spring may technically start tomorrow, astronomically speaking, Vermont usually has other ideas. Carole is out at a meeting somewhere downtown, and then…

Wanted: Rundown Waterfront Motel for Depressing Experience

As you all know, I’m all about the “wallowing in depression”. Carole’s going to visit her parents in Ohio for Thanksgiving (Oakwood, a suburb of Dayton, FWIW) and I have no plans. I found myself pondering today, “What would be the most depressing place…

Spectacularly bad

Depression is rarely boring, despite what one might expect. I woke up Sunday morning (having slept in while Carole went off to church) with a full-on the-world-is-ending I-am-utterly-alone panic attack. I literally felt as though I was drowning, gasping for breath, my heart pounding…

Drowning

Though this is not going to come as a newsflash to anyone who knows me, I’ve been suffering from severe depression for a few years now. Of late I’ve been so depressed that at the end of each working day I’ve simply gone home…

Ennui

You know you’re depressed and down and out of good ideas when you actually stop and contemplate mailing a letter to the Unabomber, Theodore Kaczynski, to ask him what he thinks of Donald Trump. And then think “… and how the Kardashians fit into…

Cats

Hi, all. I’m in New York City this week doing training. Carole is back home starting her third week of unemployment. I didn’t post at the time, because it was a hard and troubling time, but yeah, Carole lost the job she’d had since…

The frustrating thing about depression

The frustrating thing about depression is that it’s often caused by flat-out messed-up biochemistry but is nonetheless attributed to various real-world causes, both by the depressed person and by those around him or her. Why is that frustrating? Well, since you can’t wave a magic wand and…

Depression: the Blacksburg hypothesis

I suffer from chronic depression. There are days that I simply can’t get up the energy to do much of anything. Days when I have a long list of things to do — enjoyable things, even — and yet the whole day goes by,…

Lifetime Piling Up

Since my last blog post on furrs.org, life has been … frustrating, to say the least. My father’s doing MUCH better, thank you — that’s not one of the frustrating things. He has recuperated very well from his emergency hip surgery in mid-February. He…

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